By Pamela Edwards-Swift, CFLS

As I write this article, it is the one month anniversary of the date of the travesty made against our country.  I cannot help but wonder what the next month will bring.  Will we continue as a country to put aside our differences and join forces against the enemy?  Will Osama bin Laden and his followers strike again?  Will our armed forces continue to make strides in weakening the enemy?

What has been interesting to note is the unity shown amongst American citizens.  We are all waiving our flags high and proud, we are being more courteous and we are putting aside our political differences, all for general welfare of the country we love

Now, you may ask, “What does this have to do with family law?”  The truth is nothing.  Except that it affords me the opportunity to make an analogy.

When a couple divorces and the divorce is wrought with litigation, there develop “camps” on one side or the other.  There is “his” camp and there is “her” camp.  I would like to compare these camps to the “Democrats” and one the “Republicans.”  In my opinion, although I side with one, both organizations have their good points and their bad points.  In my opinion, one group has more positive attributes than the other, but the fact remains there are good and bad points for both political organizations.

The same is true with the divorcing couple.  Both the husband and the wife have their good points and their bad points.  Depending upon who you are, you definitely have your opinion regarding who has more good points.  But, again, the same facts are true, that is both the husband and the wife have good and bad points.

Now with the Republicans and the Democrats, despite their differences, they are able to set aside their differences right now and come together as a whole to defeat the common enemy and to defend our country.

The same should be true with the divorcing couple.  Despite their differences, they should be able to come together for the one thing they both love, their children.  No matter what one thinks of their spouse, whether current or “ex,” they both love their children and their children love both of them.  And it only stands to reason that both parents want what is best for their children, even if they cannot agree upon what “best” means.

If the tragedy of September 11 has left you with appreciating life and valuing the fact that you were able to come home to your children that day and hug them, or were able to call them and tell them you love them, then hopefully, you will continue to remember that feeling and appreciate what you do have.

What I am trying to say is that if you are currently embroiled in litigation over your children, or intend to be soon, stop and think about what your common goal with your spouse is, or should be, the welfare of  your children.  You can fight all you want over the cat, the dog and the toaster, but when it comes to the children, there should be unity.  Put your personal issues aside and work together to protect your children.

God bless each and one of you who reads this article.  I hope and pray that when this article comes out on November 1, 2001, you and your family have been kept safe from harms way, foreign and domestic.

Pamela Edwards-Swift, Certified Family Law Specialist, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2014; Southern California Super Lawyer